Rumplestiltskins' Pain And Sorrow
by cheesedoodledude1
Summary: Rumplestiltskin's had a lot of terrible things happen in his life, so I wrote a poem fanfiction about it. It's very long. it took 40 pages to write. But it's worth it. the poem fanfiction is very deep and I think it has good detail. So enjoy! :D


Rumplestiltkins' Pain And Sorrow

By

The Sweetest Of Hearts

I'm unlovable

I'm a monster

Nobody loves the beast inside

No one ever sees how lonely I am in my heart

My cold black beating heart

Whenever I come around

people flee in terror

they're fearful that I'll do bad things to them

which I presumably will if they defy me

or if they hurt Bae

Bae my son

My only family

My flesh and blood

He's the only one who will stay with me

In my clouded mind

I know he's scared of me

even though he doesn't act like it

everybody fears me

but it eases my power hungry mind

that my boy stays with me

it eases the pain

it makes me forget

forget that everybody hates me

nobody loves me

and that I'm practically alone

Bae is the only family I have

The only family that didn't betray me

One day Bae was walking in the village

Out of nowhere a carriage driver doesn't see where he's going

He runs into my dear son Baelfire

Bae gets a big cut on his knee

I notice a commotion in the heart of the village

I'm curious

I go see what's happening

Instantly I notice Bae.

He has a huge bleeding cut on his knee

I lose my cool

I hastily run over to my beloved son in a rage

I'm furious that Baelfire-MY BAELFIRE! Is hurt

The carriage driver utters a futile form of an apology

I don't care

Everyone knows if they hurt my son-MY SON! they die in an instant!

Bae tries to tell me he's ok but that's not good enough

IF ANYBODY HURTS MY SON THEY SHALL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE-IN DEATH!

The carriage driver begs for mercy

He doesn't deserve mercy after what he did to my son!

Bae's still pleading with me

Begging me to let the man go

He says it's just a scratch

BUT NO!

I DON'T LET ANYONE GO WHO HURTS MY SON!

NOBODY!

In my furious rage I turn him into a snail and step on him.

He crunches beneath my boot

I look up

Everyone is quiet

I ask Bae if he's ok

Bae is traumatized

He says he's ok

I look up and put my arm protectively over his shoulder

"IF ANYONE HURTS ME SON YOU SHALL RECEIVE A WORSE FATE THAN HIM!"

I point to the dead snail

Squished on the ground

Everybody fears the worst and hastily returns to their business

Not wanting to incur my wrath any further

I take Bae home where he can be safe, where I can watch over him

I keep Bae in the house most of the time

I do this so I can protect him from the ruthless evil that's outside our home

Secretly I do this so Baelfire can't abandon me

Like his worthless mother

In the back of my heart I still love her

The rest of it is rage

Rage that she betrayed me

Rage that she ran off with another man

Rage that she abandoned her only son!

I sit my precious Baelfire down at our dinner table

I'm about to heal him when he stops me

He says he doesn't want magic and that an herbal remedy will do the same thing

We talk for a bit

Bae wishes I didn't have magic

He believes that I can be strong without it

I disagree but he makes me promise that if there ever was a chance for me to rid myself of the dark magic inside of me that I would take that chance

Bae doesn't like staying in the house all the time

He wants to go outside and play with his friends

But I can't let him do that

My worst fear is that he'll get hurt

That he'll start to hate me

That he'll run away and abandon me like everybody else in my family did

That he won't love me anymore!

I sniffle at that thought

My eyes start to water slightly

I wipe my eyes quickly so no one can see me cry

I can't be called a coward

Cowards cry

I can't let Bae think I'm a coward

I have to be strong for my son so I can protect him

One day I get a summons

Someone wants me to come to the next town over and find their missing children

I go

For a price

My services always come for a price

When I get to the town the man who summoned me enlightens me on the situation

Late at night music plays by a mysterious pied piper that no one can see

Only the young boys can hear it though

And only to the most loneliest of boys

the boys are lured out of their houses and to a secret unknown location

the town wants me to find the pied piper and their missing boys and bring them home  
I agree and we make a deal

That night I sit on a rooftop waiting for the music to sound

Waiting for the boys to follow it to its' source

Then at the stroke of midnight the boys come out of their houses in a trance like state

Surprisingly I can hear the music as well

I know the reason

It was because I was a lonely boy when I was young

I jump off the rooftop and follow the boys, wherever their going, down the street and into a nearby forest.

When we get to our destination it appears we've come to a campfire in the woods

There are boys dressed in animal skins

Dancing around the fire like they're mad

They seem to be in a trance

A trance that makes then dance like wild animals

I observe them for a while when I see that surprisingly Baelfire, my son! Is among the feral children

I can't believe it!

I try to talk some sense into my son

But he keeps dancing  
finally I get upset and undo whatever magic that was cast on the boys and grab Bae's arm and take him home

I'm relieved that Bae is under my care and protection again

Bae is upset

He says he would've chosen to come back if I'd have given him the chance

I'm hurt

I should've trusted Bae to come home

But I was afraid Bae would leave me and never return

We go to bed, both tired and upset

A few weeks, or maybe it was months, I've lost count

I obtain a magic bean in my possession

I've found a way Bae and I could be together

Without magic

I really don't want to do this, but if it's what Bae wants, then I'll do it

That night I show my beloved son the bean

Bae is ecstatic

He throws his arms around me

"Papa, you're finally going to keep your promise!" Bae yells joyfully

I put my arm around Bae affectionately

I look down at him lovingly

"Yes, I am." I say to his brightly shinning face

I love it when my Bae smiles at me

So warm

So loving

I just hope I can keep my promise

It's night

Bae and I walk outside and choose a spot to throw the bean

We finally choose one

I squat down to Bae's level and ask if he's ready

"of course, Papa. I love you." He says with an innocent smile on his angelic face

I ask him where he wants to go

He thinks for a second

I don't rush him

I want him to be completely happy with the place he chooses for us

He looks at me and tells me where he wants to go

He tells me he wants me to open the portal

I'm honored

I throw the bean and a portal opens in the ground

As soon as the portal opens everything changes

I'm terrified!

My cowardice takes control!

I grab my dagger and pierce it into the dirt

I can't do this

I can't go with him

I'm too much of a coward

Bae holds onto me

And I hold onto my dagger

The only thing keeping me from getting sucked into the portal

"PAPA! C'MON! YOU COWARD! YOU PROMISED!"

Bae yells

I'm too petrified!

I can't move

All I can do is hold onto my son while I disappoint him

I decide this is it

If I ever want to see my son again after my curse has been set in motion I have to let him go

I apologize to Bae in my mind

I'm sorry my beloved Baelfire, but I have to let you go

And with regret in my heart, I let go of Baelfires' hand

My son calls after me as the portal closes

That was how I lost my precious, beloved son forever.

Months, maybe years go by

I've stopped counting

Everyday I'm full of pain, sorrow and misery

I'm alone

Years go by

then a light flashes

admits the ocean of darkness that is my life

I get a new servant girl

in exchange for protection in The Ogre Wars

her name is Belle

Belle French

She's not that attractive

However she is the help

She does what I ask

Although she doesn't have a choice

That was the agreement, Dearie

The first day of her eternal service

She's pouring tea while I tell her her duties included in her stay here

I get to the last duty

"And you will skin the children I hunt for their pelts."

Belle is shocked!

She drops the teacup she's holding

I reassure her

"That one was a quip."

"Not serious."

I say as I wiggle my finger in amusement

Belle is relieved

But then she sees the teacup

It has a rather large chip in it

Belle's afraid of me

Afraid that I'll get mad that she broke my teacup

Like everybody else is

She's afraid

Not surprising

I tell her "Well, it's just a cup."

Belle is flabbergasted

She's surprised

Surprised that I didn't punish her for chipping my teacup

She's confused

Confused as to why I didn't get angry

Weeks pass

She cleans The Dark Castle

She dusts my curios

Then while I'm spinning at the wheel

Trying to forget

Forget the numerous tragedies in my past

Belle asks me an innocent but painful question

The words are simple

"Why do you spin so much?"

The question tugs painfully at my heart

I stop my spinning and lightly glance at the woman

The woman who brings my heart confusion so

with a distant forlorn look on my face

I answer her question

I'm not entirely there

But, nevertheless

I answer her painful question

"I like to watch the wheel.

Helps me forget."

Helps me forget my lost son

Helps me forget

the high pitched screams of the women I encounter while I saunter through town

the many villages I visit to collect my payment from the many desperate fool I make deals with

my hands reciting their fancy movements

seeing the children run into their houses

crying for their mothers

the calls of 'Monster' and 'Beast'

buzzing through my ears

like a vicious fly with a grudge

bustling annoyingly next to me

my wretched father

who left me at the spinsters' house

just because he wanted to again relive his childhood

my no good wife

who ran off with that murderer of our matrimonial promises

that is what I try to forget while I'm spinning

it clears the mind and soothes the soul

I come back to reality

Hearing Belle question as to what I want to forget

With an amused tone in my voice I relay to her

"I guess it worked."

And give an amused laugh.

Belle laughs too

I get up from my spinning stool

I walk a short distance to where Belle is

I'm confused as to what she is doing

Belle tells me

she's trying to open my curtains

the curtains I've nailed down

nailed down so the world doesn't have to see

the monster I am

she says spring is coming soon

and that there should be light

in my dark castle.

she's up on a latter

and with one last jerk

the curtains come falling down taking Belle with them!

I have no time to think

Unexpectedly I reach out to catch her

And I do

She's in my arms for a few moments

She looks at me

And I look at her

She thanks me in a way

That suggests that she's surprised at my choice of action.

The moment's getting very awkward

So I put her down

we try to shake of the awkwardity

And we succeed

Belle goes back to her chores

And I just stand there with a strange feeling inside me

I don't know what this feeling is

So I shake it off

And go back to doing what I do best

Making deals

And punishing the people who break 'em

The next day I hear a noise at my door

A very annoying noise

It turns out to be that brash and stupid fool, Ghaston

He's come to save his 'fiancé'

What a fool

He thinks a sword is a worthy match for my power

Ha!

I'm far stronger than he is

Even with a sword

I open the door and Ghaston starts to make a speech of bravery

He doesn't get very far

Before he can say another word

I turn him into a single red rose

I pick up the single red rose and go back to my dining room

Belle hears me coming and walks to the door to greet me

I present her with the rose

"Here." I say

"If you'll have it."

She's hesitant at first

But eventually she takes the rose

I give a gentlemanly bow

She curtsies back at me in amusement

And after that warm moment

she goes to my glass cabinet

and gets a vase

she goes to get the cutting shears and cuts the rose shorter and places it in the vase.

We talk for a spell

The feeling in my heart

I now know as love

I make a deal with Belle

The deal

Go fetch me some straw from town

And I'll tell her the tale of my son

Bae

Bae

I miss you so much!

Belle questions me if I trust her to come back

I just look at her with a sad hopeless face

"Oh no. I expect I'll never see you again." I say forlornly.

Belle leaves for town basket in hand

I sit back on my stool

And spin

I spin for hours in a depressed state

Expecting to never see my love again

In my state of great depression

I stare out my tower window with a fools' hope

staring for what it seems like an eternity

Believing I'll never see her again

Eternity

I know what eternity is

Eternity is a long, empty road, with nothing but loneliness ahead for me

Then suddenly I see something that sends me down the stairs

It makes my heart a flutter

I run faster than I've ever ran before

It's Belle!

It's my love!

My light amidst an ocean of darkness!

I thought I'd never see her again!

I quickly run to my spinning wheel

I sit on my stool like I'd been there for a long time

I act like I'm spinning gold

then Belle walks in

Basket full of straw

I'm ecstatic to see my beloved Belle!

She sets the basket down and walks toward me

I'm nervous

So nervous

She puts her hands on my shoulders affectionately

She says I owe her a story

there's something different about her

She's being way more affectionate then usual

More affectionately forward if you will

I've never seen her like this before

She makes me nervous by the moment

Belle takes the straw I'm holding and sets it aside

I'm growing more nervous by every moment that she's this close to me.

She sits down on my spinning wheel

I smile nervously

She asks me to tell her about my son

Bae

Bae, please come back so we can be a family again

I tell Belle that I lost him

There's nothing more to tell, really

Belle speaks

Her words hit me right at my core

"And since then you've loved no one,

And no one has loved you.'

She hits my heart right on the mark

I lean in close to her

I question why she came back

She says she wasn't going to

but says something changed her mind

She says nothing but leans in closer to me

I lean in closer to her porcelain face

Our faces get closer as we lean in further

Closer

Thu-thump thu-thump

Closer

Thu-thump thu-thump

Then Belle envelopes my lips into hers

It's like something I've never felt before

Something I never expected to feel in my life

I feel warmth

Belles' warmth coarse through my body

Intertwining with a warmth in my heart that was never there before

and just before it get to be too much

(my breath hitches)

Belle pulls away and looks at me

I notice something different

Something…changing inside of me

I'm confused

Belle puts her hands on the sides of my face

She tells me to kiss her again

And that it's working

What's working?!

Something is terribly wrong

I sense it in my heart

Belle speaks up again

"Any curse can be broken."

She says warmly

I'M INFURIATED!

Where there was once love and warmth

There is HATE! AND ANGER!

WHAT HAS BELLE DONE TO ME!?

I rise up from my stool

It clashes aside from my great rage

I demand Belle to tell me where she heard that!

Belle stutters about a woman

I know who it is now!

 **THE EVIL QUEEN!**

I walk fumingly over to a mirror!

I yank the sheet off it!

I yell into the mirror!

I yell at The Evil Queen!

Belle walks towards me

and questions who I'm talking to!

I know she's been in cahoots with The Evil Queen!

I yell ferociously at Belle

accusing her of working with The Evil Queen!

How did she get to Belle!?

I knew this was a trick!

I knew you'd never cared about me, Belle!

Belle stares at me in confusion

I accuse her of this being her plan all along!

I accuse her of wanting to kill 'The Beast'

Belle tries to talk some sense into me

BUT I WON'T HAVE IT!

She says something about 'true love'

But her words fall upon deaf ears!

I know what she's been up to!

I know what she's been doing!

I'm enraged!

I tell her to SHUT UP!

She tries again

I tell her to SHUT UP again!

Belle yells desperately as she tries to get through to me.

I don't listen!

Why should I listen to her!?

She betrayed me!

She never loved me!

It was all a trick!

A big joke to her and **THE EVIL QUEEN!**

she yells desperately

"Why won't you believe me?!"

I answer her back

ENRAGED!

FURIOUS!

BALLISTIC!

"BECAUSE NO ONE, NO ONE CAN EVER EVER LOVE ME!"

I grab a hold of Belle's arm and rush her to the dungeoned cell

Where she will stay for all eternity!

I throw her to the floor

I hastily shut and lock the dungeon door

Leaving Belle in a confused heap on the filthy dungeon floor

Back in the dining room, a metal bar in hand,

I run furiously to my glass cabinet!

I SMASH AND I SMASH

EVERYTHING IN THE GLASS CABINET

THRASHING

AND BATTERING THE CABINET!

WITH ALL THE ANGER AND RAGE AND FURY THAT I'VE GOT IN ME

I collapse on the broken cabinet

A little tired from my outburst

Glass shards everywhere

Big

Small

Medium

Shards of all sizes

I rush over to my dining table

as tired as I am

I look at my tea set

Furiously I grab cup after cup!

Throwing them!

Seeing them smash against a random pillar in the room!

Breaking into many pieces!

Then I notice that I've grabbed Belles' teacup

The teacup that she chipped at the very beginning of all this

On her first day here

I stare at it for a while

wondering what I should do with it

do I smash it like all the others?

No

I set Belles' teacup-our teacup

Down on the table and walk away

After a few days of mulling it over in my mind

I return to Belle's dungeon like cell

I've decided to let her go

I don't want to see her again

My heart is cold

My feelings are numb

I open the door

I find Belle sitting on the straw covered bench

Leaning against the filthy cell wall

She looks spent

She's a mess

She glances up at me

Then looks down at the grime ridden floor

She questions what I'm going to do with her

I don't look at her

Instead I look at a wall

And point my arm out the door

"Go…" I command in a livid but firm manner

I turn my back on her

She repeats my command as a question

I tell her I don't want her anymore

Belle arises from the bench

Dusts herself off

And starts to leave

She stops

My heart still in shambles

And comes back

She looks at me with a brave but disbelieving face

She tells me I could've had happiness

I could've been happy

if I believed that someone could love me that is

she says I didn't think I could take the chance

I tell her she's lying

Belle calls me a coward

Words that I never thought would come out of her mouth

Words I never thought I'd here from Belle

The woman I thought I loved

Once upon a time ago…

I deny being a coward

I tell her my power means more to me then she does

But Belle doesn't back down

She doesn't believe me

she tells me I don't think I can love her

Belle continues on

She says I'm going to regret the choice I've made

Forever…

"And all you'll have is an empty heart

and a chipped cup."

With those last words

She walks miserably away

My heart should've broken then and there

But what Belle doesn't know is that

my heart's been broken for a long time

I look straight ahead and say nothing

A day passes

I'm spinning gold absentmindedly

I don't bother sitting down

For I could care less about the position I'm in

Then unexpectedly

The Evil Queen walks arrogantly through my dining room doors like she owns The Dark Castle

she mindlessly chatters at me

completely fake

entirely uncaring

she talks

she says something about a deal

I'm still absently standing

Absently spinning

Any day I would feel like dealing

But not today

The queen looks at my tea set

she pours herself a drink

I know what she's up to

I always know what she's up to

I tell her her deception failed

She'll never be more powerful than me

I tell her she can keep trying

But I know she'll never defeat me

She knows why I'm upset

And she rubs it in my face

With an evil smirk

She drags on the subject

Which I really wish she wouldn't

She knows it hurts me

That's why she's doing it

She hints at a tragedy

This gets my attention

I turn around to face the menace that flauntered into my Dark Castle

I question her

I choose my words very carefully

I know she wants a reaction from me and I won't let her have it

The Queen acts surprised

As if she expected me to know

The Evil Queen weaves a tale that just so happenly is about Belle

 _ **The Evil Queens' Tale**_

 _When the girl got home_

 _Her fiancé was missing_

 _And after her stay with you, her association with you,_

 _No one wanted her_

 _Her father_

 _The one she loved the most_

 _Shunned her_

 _Cut her off of the family's wealth_

 _Shut her out_

 _(_ my face starts to falter)

I question The Queen

I ask if Belle needs a home

The Evil Queen goes on

 _He was cruel and malicious to her_

I looked shocked

Not able to control the muscles in my face

The Evil Queen continues

 _He locked her in a tower_

 _And sent clerics to cleanse her soul_

 _With scourges and flang_

She emphasizes the words 'scourges' and 'flang'

I can't control the emotions in my face

I become even more shocked

I'm scared for Belle

Maybe I was too hard on her

 _After a while she threw herself off the tower_

 _ **She died**_

That was the last straw!

I'm freaking out in my mind

"You're lying." I say hoping it isn't true

A million thoughts are going through my head

 _Why did I let her go!?_

 _Why was I so cruel to her!?_

 _Why didn't I take a chance!?_

 _Oh Belle!_

 _What have I done!?_

 _I love you, and now it's too late!_

The Queen responds to my obvious fear

"Am I?" she says smugly

I've had enough

I tell her to leave and walk away

The Evil Queen gives in

Knowing she made her impression

But right before she leaves

she rubs it in my face again

she mentions how dusty my castle is

and suggests I get a new girl to replace Belle

no one can replace Belle in my heart

The Evil Queen knows it

She leaves with a smug smile at my pain and turmoil

I stare on

Not talking

Standing listlessly near the doorway

The Evil Queen leaves my home

I walk to my glass cabinet

I restored it with magic

I pull out the first thing that my Belle ever gave me

Our teacup

Chipped the first day Belle was here

my most prized possession

Turning it over in my hands multiple times

I eventually walk over to a pedestal

A goblet already taking its' place on the stand

I remove the goblet ever so smoothly

And in its' place I put our chipped teacup

I stare at the gift my love had given me

I smile a small sorrowful smile

And finally

After all I went through

After all that's happened

I start to cry

Maybe The Evil Queen wasn't lying.

Maybe Belle really is…

Dead…

I cry up a storm of magic

dark clouds form over my head

Strong winds begin to blow

But before our teacup gets blown away and smashed to bits like everything else in this room

I grab it and hold on to it

I hold it close to my chest

To my heart

Like it's my very life I'm hanging onto

It's no surprise that I'm still standing

I'm the one who caused the storm

While the storm and the winds rage on behind me in the background

I yell into the tornado

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME, BELLE?!

WHY DID I EVER HURT YOU?!

WHY COULDN'T I HAVE JUST TAKEN A CHANCE?!

WHY DID I EVER SEND YOU AWAY?!

WE COULD'VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER AT THIS MOMENT IF I HADN'T CHASED YOU AWAY!

BUT NOW YOU'RE GONE, AND I CAN NEVER GET YOU BACK!

I cry these and more words of sorrow and regret into the storm

Into the tornado that is my heart

I'm unlovable

I'm a monster

Nobody loves the beast inside

No one ever sees how lonely I am in my heart

My cold black beating heart

Whenever I come around, people flee in terror

they're fearful that I'll do bad things to them

which I presumably will if they defy me

I am The Dark One

And I'll always be alone

To fear sorrow and pain

For all eternity

For that is how long I'll live

Forever and alone

Page 40 of 40


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